How To Look Rich, Act Rich, But Still Be Yo’ Po’ Self

What makes a celebrity a celebrity? It’s how they carry themselves and how they act, and even most importantly, how they look. When you get some money coming in, you can start spending it on things that make you seem even bigger than you are. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy of legendary stature. So if you want to seem like a big shot or a big deal, you gotta first act like one. This can be done if you have great wealth, but most of us don’t have access to that, so we gotta fake it. Here are some ways to seem bigger than you are so that maybe you’ll eventually be that big.

Dress the Part


You can’t dress like a schlub and have people think you’re anything but a schlub. Look at New York City hipsters – they dress in fancy expensive clothes that are designed to look casual and off the beaten path. But those tank tops and skinny jeans are actually ~$100 garments bought with their parents’ trust fund money. Don’t be fooled! You can’t actually just go into a Goodwill and walk out with a cool, hipster wardrobe. However, with the proper eye, you can find some good stuff probably not at Goodwill, but at some other consignment places that will sell you some cool clothes more in the $20-$30 range. Or even going to H&M is not a bad call. Their whole market brand is looking sharp and European but being terrible quality but it doesn’t matter because you at least will be looking cool as the stitching comes undone.

Get a Slightly – But Only Slightly – Used Car


You will not impress anyone with a 18 year old Honda Odyssey you bought from your grandmother because she’s blind and can’t drive anymore. However, if you need a new set of wheels, you should definitely go ahead and get something a few model years old. You will save tons on that monthly car payment, and that kind of savings can be used to shop at H&M. It all comes full circle. Check out and you’ll see that the prices on cars even just 2 or 3 years old are way more reasonable than something fresh off the boat. Or off the trailer. You get the idea. It’s always a good idea to start shopping at and go from there.

iPhone yes, Verizon no


If you want any sort of stature in this world, you have to have an iPhone. I mean, you look at someone with a Samsung and you can’t help but wonder: do you even have any self respect? Go back to your basement! But though we all agree you have to have an iPhone, that doesn’t mean you have to pay the exorbitant prices for Verizon or, God forbid, AT&T. You can use T Mobile or Sprint. Though their service is laughably bad, you can save money and once you hop on your buddy’s wifi, it won’t really matter that no one has thought to put up a Sprint tower in your city.